Notes to Self

on writing (and living)

Today would have been poet Mary Oliver’s 89th birthday. She died in early 2019, but her words and way of being on the earth continue to inspire me and so many others as we navigate life on this planet together.

What I Learned From Mary Oliver

Poetry is most powerful 
when no dictionary is necessary;

when anyone can find themselves 
walking through words into wonder, 

when meaning is a bell of simplicity
clearly ringing in truth. 

What follows was originally published on the Brevity Blog several years ago, and you’ll see the influence of Mary Oliver coming through, which is why I’ll share it today. I’m doing my best to follow my own advice during a time when it’s been all too easy to focus on what’s wrong, not right.

Remember to be grateful for what is already good.  There will always be things that feel stressful, like they won’t ever work, that keep you up at night.  Don’t give your attention, and the energy doing so requires, to things that don’t deserve it, or to things that don’t exist.  If you must pay attention to something you would rather not, or that is hard because of life’s circumstances, or that is draining because of all the things that can cause something to take instead of give, reserve some of your energy: pay attention to it if you must, but don’t give all your reserves away. Save at least some of your energy for that which returns it in kind.

Give your attention to that which lights you up with aliveness. To that which leaves you bursting with radiance.  To that which adds peace to the tumult that is part of existing on an evolving planet.  Find delight.  Revel in pleasure.  Cherish your body, and give it what it needs.  Honor your mind. Nourish it with curiosity and enough rest to be curious for another day.  Feel your spirit join with something greater than yourself, and remember the oneness that makes the world pulse with love.  Feel all the nuances of joy, even the parts that make you wonder if you’ve gone completely mad.  Let the perplexing beauty of a human experience fill your being with luminosity and reverence.  Keep going outside, even when it’s cold, or too hot.  Notice the way ice cracks in the sun and how a pen feels in your hand as you scribble in a journal. (Especially important after many days of tapping a keyboard.) Notice the burst of red when a cardinal visits the dead tree outside your office window.  Allow fresh air to direct your attention to breathing, even when it isn’t comfortable.  Slip into fresh bed sheets on a cool summer’s evening.  Turn just picked strawberries over in your hand on a warm day, lifting them to your face to inhale their sweetness.  Let rushing water caress your bare ankles as you walk upstream.

Practice noticing. Build your capacity for attentiveness, and give voice to the bits of astonishment that gather in the wake of doing so.  Be attentive to the way gratitude polishes the rough edges of human experience, and give in to wonder. The world needs you to keep wonder alive.  Mary Oliver wrote,  “May I stay forever in the stream.”  Take her lead. Stay forever in the stream, and let it be a stream of gratitude for what already is.  Let that stream return the energy you need to continue on for another day.

Remember to be grateful for what is already good.

Of course, it’s not always easy to remember to be grateful for what’s already good, and sometimes, for myriad reasons, it can seem like good just isn’t ever going to be possible again. Hope can sometimes feel too far away to grasp— so if you or someone you know feels that way, you aren’t alone and help is available.

September 10th is World Suicide Prevention Day. A day to remind you that you matter, and you add beauty and light to the world simply by being who you are, right now.

As my friend Krista at A Life In Progress wrote one morning a few years ago, "We are all strength + struggle, there is no shame in needing help or struggling in this messy world."

Reach out for help if you need it. Tap into your courage and share struggles, anxieties, and fears—this may help someone else. Remember that, as Ram Dass said, "We all just walking each other home." Ask, listen, share, release shame, practice compassion. Repeat. Practice active hope. Stay in (and if necessary, return to) the steam that lights you up with aliveness and wonder.

BELONGING, found in Slouching Toward Radiance

If you can only
be sure of one thing,

be sure of how your presence
here on earth is essential.

Nothing would be the same
if your thread wasn't woven

deep into this great tapestry,
woven over millennia

by the synergies that make life possible
on this fair planet—

earth, fire, water, air
meet in space and across time

to tell the story
of your worth—

that you matter, and that's the part
of the story to focus on.

Hard days will still be hard:
but you are woven deep

into something bigger
than yourself,

something that wouldn't exist
if your thread wasn't here,

something that always remains
true even if those hard days stack up.

The world may be
an uncertain place

but your place
in it isn't.

You matter.
Your place is here.

Krista put it well when she said, "this world can feel so incredibly hard at times, yet there's beauty here too. Hold on." Your place is here.Krista put it well when she said, "this world can feel so incredibly hard at times, yet there's beauty here too. Hold on." Your place is here.