12 tiny things

to support mental & emotional wellness

So, you may know this already, but change is hard. Not changing is hard, too, in a different way. (Choose your hard.) It’s easy to get overwhelmed and grow stagnant, which can make staying on a path toward better wellness more challenging.

Here’s the sky embracing change this morning.

Days that get shorter and darker and colder in the northern hemisphere can also add an extra layer of challenge to whatever other changes you may like to see. Change can feel too big, like it’s just too much work to be worth the effort it takes, especially this time of year. I mean, the holidays are coming. There are things to do, gatherings to plan, people to see or avoid seeing, shopping trips to complete, chores to stay on top of, etc.

In a culture that says bigger is better, it is subversive work to take tiny, lasting steps toward change.¹

There is a lot of potential in embracing the power of small, daily acts to transform how we are showing up for ourselves. What we need is already inside of us—the key is remembering to tap into it, as well as our support network, as we go.

Today we’ll focus on emotional and mental wellness². Building the capacity to relate to others in healthy ways, asking for and accepting help, and maintaining interest in personal growth helps build a strong foundation and keep it that way. Being kind to your mind is an essential part of living well.

What follows is a non-exhaustive list of tiny things, or maybe we can call them micro-practices, that you could try on in the realm of mental and emotional wellness.

1. Say no to something – saying no to one unimportant/unrealistic thing opens space for something else. Practice the holy no.

2. Pause. For example, hold your tea/coffee cup with both hands and savor it—allow the pause to help you recenter for whatever’s coming next.

3. Practice unplugging. Spend half an hour (or even half the day!) phone-free, shut down your computer at the end of the workday, or wait until after breakfast to check email or social media.

4. Pay attention to how stress shows up for you—is it tension headaches, extra irritability, shallow breathing, trouble sleeping? Noticing the signs is the first step to responding differently. Then take a deep belly breath, and make your exhale longer than your inhale.

5. Turn off the global news. Even if just for a little while—direct your energy where you can do good right now, close to home, where you have agency.

6. Exercise your creativity. Paint, whittle, arrange flowers, sing, write poetry– exercising creativity is a great stress management strategy because it gets you out of your left brain (where analytics and anxiety live) and into your right brain (where creativity and peace live).

7. Reach out to someone you care about—invest in relationships that matter to you.

8. Notice one thing you need and ask someone for help with it. Accept the help that comes with gratitude.

9. Offer a random act of kindness — doing so can be a way to remember all you have to offer and how important community is. Or perhaps you’ll offer that act of kindness to yourself. As Oriah Mountain Dreamer said, “I cannot think of a time when kindness is a mistake.”

10. Forgive yourself for finding hard things hard. (Because offering yourself true kindness can be a real challenge.)

11. Tell the truth about something, even if it’s a tiny truth. As Andrea Gibson said, “The truth isn’t always hopeful, but the telling of it is.”

12. Make the therapy appointment (and keep it), commit to going to a meeting (and go to it), or refill your prescription (and drive to get it, or set up mail order if available).

To make it a baker’s dozen….make sure to go outside, ideally a few times per day (even if just five minutes), especially as the days shorten and natural light is harder to come by. Getting that fresh air and a bit of sun on your face can help stave off the winter blues (and helps with getting better sleep, too).

Tamarack trees I was able to notice by going outside yesterday.

These lists are just ideas—there is no one size fits all when it comes to building intentionality around your habits. Try some of these ideas on if you want, and experiment with others you come up with on your own. There is no pass/fail, there is just trying things out to see what works for you and letting go of what doesn’t.

I’m often reminded that life is best experienced through the lens of compassionate curiosity about self and others. We all have weaknesses that we want to protect—but we also all have the capacity to build resiliency and do things differently. When we can allow ourselves the freedom to start small, and offer ourselves grace when we fall, we can get back up again and thrive. Each day is a new chance to keep on working toward embodying the changes we want to see in our lives. And as Charles Eisenstein said, “Even the most thorough change happens once choice at a time.”

Micro practices help curate a more reflective, rooted, and intentional life. Regardless of how the ground feels underneath our feet, we can build trust that there are roots there to tend. By trying on one tiny thing at a time, we can slowly, deliberately, and playfully remember who we are. We can nourish that being (which includes our mental & emotional wellness), with tenderness.³

So your invitation, we we move through the last days of October and into the final phase of the calendar year, is this: try on some micro practices. Experiment with some tiny things—you might be surprised by what fits.

1. Direct quote from the back cover of 12 Tiny Things: Simple Ways to Live a More Intentional Life (Broadleaf Books, 2021)

2. Think stress management, a sense of belonging, and expressing emotion in ways that support what matters to you when it comes to mental and emotional wellness. Think staying sober, making healthy communication choices, managing anger, navigating mental health challenges. A very broad topic, and we’ll just skim the surface.

3. Direct quote from 12 Tiny Things.