Lately I’m a pattern that goes like this: Get up with the sun, and run around the lake, paddle the kayak to the diving raft1, and have a brief swim before 7am. I do this first thing if it’s not my turn to drop Eva off at camp. If it is my turn, I drop her off at 7:30 and then head to a local trail to try to outpace the deer flies, followed by a dip in one of the larger lakes in town. It’s a good way to embrace the long days of light. Here are some things that came to mind a few days ago while I was out moving through the elements.
1. I’m more inclined to trust someone who isn’t afraid to say “I don’t know” over someone who claims guru status.
2. Healing, especially from trauma, isn’t Instagramable2. (Bold statement in this “post about it or it doesn’t exist” alternative universe we know as social media, I know.) Maybe a few aspects of it are, but I’m skeptical of how healing something truly is if you put a lot of energy into ensuring it looks good to the masses. Maybe sharing about certain aspects of a healing process is helpful for some, but I’m inclined to think space to reflect is more healing than the pull to perform.
3. It’s okay to feel sad and grateful at the same time. Or annoyed and grateful. Or anxious and grateful. Or any other combination of emotions along with gratitude. There’s enough space for all of it. As Megan Devine said, “Gratitude isn’t Tylenol for life.” Gratitude, when you allow it to sit next to all the hard things that it doesn’t fix, has room for everything to just be what it is. Gratitude can help you carry what feels too heavy.
4. The deer ate the leaves off of my melon vines a few days ago. (grr) I’m sad that the melons will not probably produce very well now, but I’m grateful that most of the other garden veggies and fruits are thriving inside the fenced area. (If allowing space for all emotions feels too big, go small– like with a melon lament followed by something that’s still good.)
5. Here’s a radical idea—what if instead of lamenting all you haven’t yet done, you celebrate what you already have?3 This morning, I got my kid to the bus on time, ran on a trail, didn’t get carried completely away by deer flies (close though) and spent time, just a little, in some wild water. That seems like enough cause for celebration. It all counts. The big to-do list gets enough energy and attention… let’s share some of that with what’s already been done, eh?
Tell me something you feel good about. (Really, share it in the comments!) Even if it’s as simple a paying attention to wildness or making the bed this morning or fully tasting a ripe strawberry or noticing how a rain drop rolls off a leaf. It all counts.
And perhaps doing so will help you drop just a little further into who you truly are.
I’m going to slip a little ask in here, too, since it’s my birthday tomorrow and reviews of books, when you’re an author, are gifts. So, if you’ve read any of my books, but haven’t left a review (Amazon or Goodreads are great places to do this..) I’d appreciate it if you did! This month’s Collisions proceeds will be going to Dream of Wild Health, an organization that is featured in one of the chapters. 4
Upcoming Events:
Those in the Brookings, South Dakota area, I hope to see you for an evening reading and book signing at McCrory Gardens on Friday evening, July 7th. It’s a delightful time to visit the gardens with so much in full bloom! There will be light refreshments, I’ll read some while you bask in the blooms, and we’ll allow space for questions/discussion. 6:30-8pm
Then the following week, I will be making a stop in Mankato on Tuesday, July 11 at the CuriosiTea House (1745 Commerce Dr. North Mankato, MN). From 6:30-7:30pm you can join a conversation about Collisions of Earth and Sky and enjoy a cup of tea at a teal table.
We’ve entered weed season, so swimming off the dock is a no go for the rest of the summer unless I embrace my inner water nymph who loves close contact with aquatic plants that grow with wild abandon thanks to all the extra nitrates from farm field run off.
I don’t think this should be a verb. But you know what I mean.
Sometimes I feel like I should be doing more things like leading groups on hikes or facilitating retreats or booking speaking events… and then I remember that I prefer hiking alone (or with a few others) and this is why I write books.
Theoretically, the more reviews there are (especially on Amazon), the more the algorithm gods like something, which means they show it to more people, which, one hopes, leads to selling more books which leads to eventually donating more to indigenous-run orgs.
Speaking of gurus, even the Buddha warned against them with his “if you see a Buddha along the road, murder him .”
Buddha said all must follow their own path and he shared his path but not as a path others should follow.
A little later in time, Socrates finally came to the conclusion he KNEW nothing.
I agree, not only do I not trust gurus but I trust no one who wants me to “trust” their way of thinking. Obviously this includes all religious leaders, politicians, advertisers, capitalists and many more.
I remember the the old Jewish humor that “Trust Me” is Yiddish for fuck you.
Hi, Heidi - I just found you after Chris LaTray read Joy Sits Quietly in his Poetry as Spiritual Practice workshop last night. Looking forward to reading more of your writing and your thoughts. I'm up before sunrise each day to walk on the Camas Prairie. No swimmable water, so I put my hands in the cold creek. It's the simple things that bring me joy. Blessings to you